Restoration: The Culmination of 5 Years of Work

Z-Health's R-Phase stands for Rehabilitation, Re-Education, and Restoration.

Yesterday, I competed in my first weightlifting meet since February 2000. The results? Unimportant. The fact that I did is a testimony to two things: Z-Health as a system for healing the body and improving performance and the healing power of Jesus Christ who will heal the heart and restore the mind. I'll get to the second one in a minute.

I decided five weeks ago that I was going to train for this meet. No time like the present I thought. I had planned 30 out of 35 days to train. I think I actually got about 19 days of platform work due to traveling. On most of the other days I performed either R- or I-Phase dynamic joint mobility work. After compressed nerve roots at L4-L5-S1, multiple labral tears in both hips, including damage and loss of articular cartilage, arthritis, and damage to patellar cartilage, I competed and walked away unscathed.

I surprised everyone at the meet except myself. At one point, the meet director, a former US Olympic team coach, asked me when my birthday was. (I'll be 35 next month.) He and the scorer, an older gentleman, then informed me that I could compete next year in the Master's division where there was less competition. I told them I didn't want to. They inferred that I didn't want to compete. I told them I wanted to compete in the Senior division for the sole reason that there is more competition. This shocked both of them. You see, guys in their mid-30s are supposed to be slowing down, not speeding up. Sure, my total was 30kg below what it was in 2000. But, I only trained for 5 weeks. This is the PROMISE of Z-Health: Restored function, improved performance. I am a testimony that the system works.

Now for the really exciting part. About 3-4 years ago I read John Eldredge's, Wild At Heart. It changed my life. In it, he declares that
1. Man is made in God's image, and
2. Because of that, we are designed to come through in a pinch--it is our utility; and
3. Every man has a question that needs to be answered, "Do I have what it takes?"
4. The answer to this question is given to us by more often than not, a male authority figure. And more often than not, the response is "No" or "I don't know."
5. This creates a Wound to the heart of a young boy and interferes with God's utility for us as men.
6. And because of this, we as men compensate for our wound by becoming a Poseur--the person others see--which is a mask we wear--often in the form of our strengths, to protect the wound and the emotional pain caused by it.
After identifying the problem, Eldredge provides the solution: Jesus Christ alone can heal a man's wound and restore to him his utility.

I am also a testimony to this process. Jesus healed the wound in my heart yesterday by allowing me to return to the platform and compete. It's what I love to do. However, my wound interfered with my love and so the Poseur in me defined myself, my self-image, as a weightlifter--"Geoff Neupert, Weightlifter. No, no, weightlifter--snatch, clean and jerk--you're thinking of powerlifting--two different things."

Most men identify themselves with the things they are good at: businessman, weightlifter, entrepeneur, doctor, etc--you get the idea--and then they "become" that thing. You know these guys--the guys who are still living in their past glory days or whose moods change like the tides based on how work is going-up, down, up, down...

Anyway, Jesus has been working on this wound for the last 3-4 years. Here's the hardest part out of the whole process: You have to go into your wound in order for Him to heal it. What's that look like? Well for years, my self-worth, my identity came from my physical strength, and to a certain extent, my size. Looking back, I struggled with the amount of time I obsessed over weightlifting and knew it wasn't normal and there was something wrong. I tried to quit repeatedly but my heart was drawn to it over and over again--like an addiction. I didn't know why. Now I know it was my identity, the Poseur, based on my wound. So, as part of the healing process, I had to be stripped of the weightlifting in order to not define myself by my sport but by God's love and acceptance of me, just as I am. I find it no coincidence that when I first started reading this book, both my knees were giving me problems. Then my right hip went in early 2005. My left in September 2005. Finally both knees locked up in January 2006. I was done for. At my end. I was forced to quit weightlifting because I couldn't move.

Yesterday, as I drove down to Savannah (a 5 hour trip), I wrestled with anxiety and fear--the same things many athlete wrestle with right before competition. Then I heard God speak: "Fight." So I fought. (I'll leave this part out cause from the outside looking in, it's just weird.) After much prayer, I heard God speak about the purpose of this meet: "Restoration." Then two more words almost in succession: "Presence"--"I am with you," and "Pleasure"--"I delight in you and am glad you are doing this." This was EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

So, yesterday, for the first time EVER as a competitive athlete, I was calm before and during the competition. No jitters. No butterflies. No anxiety. No diarrhea. No upset stomach. This is what I've been waiting for my entire life. Yesterday, for the first time ever, I knew that I was loved and accepted by the One who mattered most--My Father, My Creator, My Savior, My Lord--and for the first time in my life I was free to enjoy the competition. I am no longer enslaved to the fear, the Poseur. I am free to be the man that God created me to be which means I can go forth into my world and create--since I'm created in His image. I will never forget what it felt like to step on that platform and to be free from anxiety and to actually live in the moment--pressure-free. I can still see everything from my foot position, the bar, my hand placement, the feel of me stretching out, everything from those moments. My heart wasn't racing. My palms weren't sweaty. I was composed. All I saw was the bar. And those words: Restoration. Presence. Pleasure.

Why am I writing about this? About "religion?" Well first, I'd be a liar at best if I said I did this all on my own. How can I keep silent about what God's done for me? How can I take credit for His work? It's like having the cure for cancer and not telling anybody. And second, I'm not talking about "religion." I'm talking about Jesus--a Person. The Consummate and Ultimate Man. I'm talking about how He changed my life, not some church service. The movie Chariots of Fire, is about two track athletes, one of whom, Eric Liddell, said this, "When I run, I feel God's pleasure." Yesterday, while I was standing on that platform, I felt the exact same thing. Now when I lift, I can say I feel God's pleasure instead of lifting to prove something to others or even myself. I now lift for the sheer pleasure of it. It's one of the things God made me to do. In doing so, I can share this part of my life with others and tell them about how much God loves them and how much He wants to heal their wounds.

You may think I'm crazy. I don't care. Yesterday, God restored to me my heart, the place from which we are meant to live, the place which fuels and drives our true passions. The place that gets things done. He did this through the vehicles of Z-Health and John Eldredge's writing, and of course some other things, like friends who spoke truth into my life. So, I must publicly thank these individuals who have been a part of this journey with me, spurring me on in some way, shape or form, whether they know it or not. So thank you Rif, Pavel, Brett Jones, Eric Cobb, Josh Henkin, Kyle Battis, and Tom Stafford. Thank you, Men.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, I went 5 for 6 yesterday--better than I've ever done. I normally go 4 for 6 in my meets. I snatched 120kg and clean and jerked 140kg.

Soli Deo Gloria. To God Alone Be the Glory.